Togetherness in Modern Relationships | rinse before use
A client of mine -- during our initial consultation -- said the following: "Here's my issue. When I'm in a relationship, I invest so much of myself into. This is a difficult post to write. I contemplate on the subject of togetherness practically everyday, and I don't seem to gather any insights. There are many couples in this society who live in together (marriage or any live in relationship) without having the proper togetherness.
When both can accept their limitations and strength as their own, everything falls into the harmony. There is not any particular rule in togetherness. It seems like the free flowing of the river. It slows down when obstacles come and flows with its current, when the path is clear. There is no need to control its direction.
In many relationships, the couples are claiming their relationships as the togetherness. I have seen many relationships, where one is trying hard to impress other and hiding his or her originality from his or her spouse for the sake of insecurities. In that case, another person is dominating the relationship by exposing his or her Ego, shamelessly in that relationship.
There is no harmony in such types of relationships because of the presence of three beings, two original and one mask. The mask and the original cannot make any togetherness. Another type of relationship is also very common, where both partners are using masks and hiding their crude existences. The melody of togetherness cannot be played from the fake existences. That may be a relationship of slavery or monetary or enmity or anything apart from love.
They are showing their love to all, but behind the door, the mask of togetherness has just been flown off from them. Togetherness is all about acceptance. Its potential depends on how much one accept other with his or her goodness and badness.
No one can be perfect. The beautiful faces, the handsome physics or the heavy wallets are enough to take the pleasure of a lavish lifestyle.
But those are not well enough to bring the joy of togetherness in a relationship. It is, simply, the acceptability of the imperfections within a relationship by the two individuals. Consider the following examples of how people compromise themselves in their partnership.
Instead of looking to oneself, one looks to their partner to figure out what they need or want. Lacking the confidence to take care of one self. Feeling powerless to make changes, therefore over dependence on their partner sets in. Over pleasing their partner even when if feels wrong. Maintaining Individuality In A Relationship Maintaining individuality is critical to establishing a long-lasting, healthy partnership.
Personal boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves as individuals in relationships. They protect our sense of personal identity and help guard against being overwhelmed by the demands of others.
Before we can set boundaries, we have to know who we are. Ask yourself the following questions. What is important to me? What thoughts and feelings are worth protecting? What are my values?
6 IMPORTANCE OF TOGETHERNESS – eL CREMA
Which are the friendships I want to maintain? What are my needs? Am I always striving for personal satisfaction and happiness? The "Grown-up" Relationship I, You, We Simply put, a "grown-up" relationship is one in which both partners will feel closely connected while maintaining a strong sense of individuality and independence within the relationship.
Being in a successful partnership does not mean that you "complete" each other, as Jerry McGuire professed to Dorothy.
When It Comes To Togetherness In Relationships, More Isn’t Always Better
You do not need to love to do the same activities or agree on everything. You need to respect the differences that exist between you and your partner. Issues around power and control seldom assume much importance in a "grown-up" relationship.
A peaceful relationship is not one that is free of conflict; it is when partners deal with conflict in fair ways.