A Gay Son and Father on Writing a Memoir Together
As a consequence, some mothers "become unusually protective of a son whom they see being exposed to teasing or hostility from the father or. Heterosexual fathers of gay sons may experience parenting concerns specific to this father-son relationship. Grounded in the intersections of 2. Growing up with a gay father created challenges for both my Dad & I. our relationship would never be the traditional father-son relationship.
You all sort of come out together because you all begin to learn this new aspect of what your life is going to be. Kevin, what was that process for you?
The way you get over fear of the other is familiarity. He wanted me to embrace everything about him, and that included his friends and his culture.
Of Fathers and Father Figures: Supporting or Undermining Gay Men's Health
So that was his test. Patience is sometimes what is required from the family point of view. Patience with each other, and also to be willing to meet partway at first.
How else did you two try to meet partway?
It was like 94 degrees; they had their shirts off so I took my shirt off, and we just started moving to the music together. I was marching in the parade at the time. It was the first time in my life that you had made an effort to hang out with my friends, not for the need for me to see you, or see your acceptance. It was just to have fun. Kevin, you came out for Alex in many respects. Do you wish you could go back and change that?
Of Fathers and Father Figures: Supporting or Undermining Gay Men's Health | HuffPost
And would either of change anything if you had the chance? I have regret about that. I was parenting Alex at that moment to protect him, thinking that I needed to stop his pain.
- A Gay Son and Father on Writing a Memoir Together
- Marvin Gay Sr.
So I started to test his acceptance. So I got a boyfriend and ended up making out on the couch, with dad in the living room with us.
I still turn beet red and sort of writhe inside thinking about that.
No kid should be doing that in front of their father. PDA in front of parents is so uncomfortable. Masculinity and the struggle to embody that ideal was a large focus of the book.
How would you each define masculinity right now? I told him I knew it had been hard for him when I came out to him two years earlier, but I wanted him to know that I had become the man he raised me to be.
My father held me in his arms as I wept. Then he said that although he and my mother had made a lot of mistakes, "We did three things right--you kids.
29 Things You Should Look for in a Daddy
Since moving back to my hometown inI sometimes visit his grave, by myself, and talk to him. It was only after his death that I learned from relatives who knew him as a boy that Dad was mostly raised by his grandmothers while his own father was off in the Pacific during World War II.
His mother apparently didn't much care for children. I've only recently and retrospectively connected the dots between his deteriorating job prospects as the years passed and the increased drinking, rage and pain he vented on the rest of us. Sons seem to grow up wanting either to be like their dad -- or determined not to be.
I grew up not wanting to be like my father. And yet today, at age 55 -- three years older than he was when he died -- I am proud to be my father's son. I am pleased when people who knew him say I look like him. My first name was his father's -- and my mother's father's -- first name.
The day he was born, I felt he was destined for greatness. I thanked God for the blessing of his life.[INDISUB] Father And Son Part 2
I thanked God for Marvin. I knew he was a special child. According to Jeanne Gay, her father never held a job for longer than three years. Gay's sons often found themselves having to confront the neighbors, vocally defending their father and their religion. This decision led to Marvin adding an "e" to his final name, which, it was stated, was done to quiet any rumors of his own sexual orientationto emulate his idol Sam Cooke and to add more distance from his father.
Alberta finally stopped working, so that she could enjoy the security of owning a house, and the new residence was roomy and spacious with large outside porches, but Marvin didn't visit often due to his strained relationship with his father. InMarvin bought a house in the West Adams district of Los Angeles for his parents after moving them to California. By the early s, Gay's marriage to Alberta had deteriorated and according to his wife inthe couple hadn't shared the same bed in nearly ten years and as a result, they were now sleeping in separate bedrooms.
29 Things You Should Look for in a Daddy
Gaye awoke from his drug-induced sleep and commanded Gay to leave Alberta alone; however, neither father nor son physically attacked each other that night. When Gay did enter, his son, angry, despondent, and heavily intoxicated, shoved his father into the hallway, then hit him.
PSTminutes after returning to his bedroom, Gay came back to the bedroom with the.